Parent’s Guide for the College Transition

Congratulations! Your son or daughter has been accepted to a great school and is off to college this Fall. You’re proud and happy for them… but you’re probably a bit anxious as well, and you may suddenly feel left behind.

Going to college is an important transition point in the relationships of parents and students, especially when that college is out of the city or out of the state. Suddenly, parents are no longer the primary caregivers for their children – the child is!

How can you make the transition easier?

Start The Summer Before
Make a conscious effort to allow your child to be self-sufficient. This may include several things – having your child do his/her own laundry for the first time, relaxing curfew rules, or giving your child money for school supplies and letting him/her do the shopping themselves.

Along with this comes a conscious shift of thinking of your child as an adult. Ask their opinion on matters that you haven’t before, such as conflicts at work you’re experiencing or where you should go for family vacation at Christmas. Refrain from nagging them about being out late, or spending too much money with friends. These are things you’ll have no control over when they go to college, and it’s better that you and they should be comfortable with this earlier instead of later.

Develop Non-Family Interests
It’s common for parents to become depressed when their children go to college. They may feel the “empty nest” syndrome, especially when they’ve been child-focused during the high school years.

To battle this feeling, take up new hobbies and activities that aren’t family related, spend more time with your spouse without discussing your children, and expand your circle of friends to people who don’t have children the same age. This support network and variety of interests will keep you from calling your college student every night out of loneliness, and making them feel that you may not trust them.

Look Back on Your Child’s Successes
If the anxiety of your child going away to college alone has you overwhelmed, take a moment to review all the great things he or she has done over the years. It may help to pull out family albums, look at his/her awards, or talk to other family members in a bragging session.

Once you recall all the times he or she has worked hard, studied well, accomplished something difficult, or won an accolade, it’s easier to remember that you’ve raised a great kid who you can trust is going to continue to make the right decisions and succeed in college.

Top 3 Tips for Great Studying

One of the big things that I’ve been asked about lately has been how to help students study more efficiently and effectively. To be efficient, they must be able to do it with as little time investment as possible and to be effective; they have to be able to retain as much knowledge as possible.
Here are my top 3 tips for great studying:

Location, Location, Location
Two of the most common areas for study are the kitchen table and the bedroom. Both have their drawbacks. The kitchen tends to be the hub of the household, so the student is frequently interrupted. The bedroom is a poor choice because it’s generally full of distractions (a computer, stereo, cell phone) and it’s where your child sleeps, which makes for a naturally lethargic mood.

My best suggestion is a neutral location that is quiet and has good lighting – for most people, that’s actually the dining room! The student should bring only what he/she needs to study to the dining room, and pack it up at the end of the study session, to define a clear start and end to the activity.

Timing Is (Almost) Everything
There are two points to the timing issue. One is when your student studies and the other is how long they study on any particular subject.

Most students operate on a sleep-deprived schedule – going to bed late and getting up late (when they can!). This means that their most effective non-school hours are generally mid- to late afternoon, and attention trails off towards the end of the day. By having your student do their studying when they get home from school, they also tend to have better recall from what they learned in class that day.

The length of the study session is also important. Most high school classes run in 45 minute segments, which is just about perfect for maximum retention. That’s not to say that your student should be limited to under an hour, but after 45 minutes it’s important to take a 10 minute break and move around (get a snack, check email, take the dog for a walk). The student can then return for another 45 minute study segment, but for most effective study, they should switch subjects to exercise a different part of their knowledge base.

Looking for Relationships
Let’s be honest – studying can be boring. More importantly, there’s a difference between passively reading and studying. Studying should be an active verb – the student is meant to absorb knowledge, not just memorize information.

One of the most innovative ways to ensure that your student is engaging his brain and not just his eyes is for him to use relationship mapping for subjects. Start with a core theme or topic (generally the first paragraph in a text book, or the summary on the back of a fictional book) and take notes on the relationships to that core theme. Your student’s mind is a neural net, where one concept links to other concepts – putting this on paper (instead of the traditional list-style notes) can help students retain the component parts better.

EG: A relationship map (also called a mind map) for studying Romeo and Juliet may have three central themes of Love, Conflict, and Tragedy.

The Love section would include all the characters and scenes where love is demonstrated (i.e. Romeo loves Juliet – ACT 2: “What light through yonder window breaks?”).

Conflict could be broken down into family conflict (i.e. Feuding families – PROLOGUE “From ancient grudge break to new mutiny”) and fighting (i.e. Tybalt kills Mercutio ACT 3- Mercutio “A plague on both your houses.”)

Tragedy could be broken down into sadness (i.e. Juliet mourns Tybalt ACT 4-Paris “Immoderately she weeps for Tybalt’s death”) and death (i.e. Juliet kills herself ACT 5-Juliet “Happy dagger, here lies your sheath.”

The point of the relationship map is not to memorize the specific events, but to create a concept narrative that helps the student understand the relationships between the different subjects and recall those more easily later.

Preparing College Students for the ACT/SAT

Registering to take the ACT/SAT is only a small part of the testing process. There are some college bound high school students who register and show up on test day without any prior preparation.

Some of those students may still perform suitably on the tests, but your child's chances are greatly improved by properly preparing for the exams. This means you should register your student for a test date far enough in the future to give them time to prepare.

There are many study materials available at bookstores and on the internet to prepare students for either the ACT or SAT. These tests are different and materials should be obtained that pertain to the specific test your student will be taking.

Work with your child to set up a study plan so that all material is covered ongoing. Make sure he/she understands that waiting until the last minute to cram is ill advised. Sample tests are available and these are a good measure of how well prepared your student is for exam day.

Many parents have their students take both the ACT and the SAT. Some students do better on the ACT and others on the SAT. Check the entrance requirements at schools your student is considering attending to confirm which tests they accept. You also need to know what scores are required to enter specific colleges.

It is a good idea to start testing your student prior to their senior year. First, it gives them experience in testing, which will help them overcome anxiety and stress on future tests. Secondly, you can pay a little extra to obtain a report of your child's test results that shows how they performed in each area of the test.

This helps identify strengths and weaknesses so your child can work harder on the problem areas and perform better on future tests. Some parents register their students to start ACT/SAT testing in the middle school years.

It is important if you plan to have your student test multiple times that you don't automatically send test results to a potential college. Some colleges evaluate multiple test scores differently than others, and a low score can be detrimental at some schools even if a better score is submitted later.

There are many schools that simply view the best score and disregard the rest. Just be sure to research beforehand to avoid a complication. There is no need to be in a rush to submit these scores to colleges in the early high school years anyway, so it is best to test multiple times prior to the senior year and make decisions based on the results.

Determining Strengths and Weaknesses for College Bound Students

At some point in life, the successful person determines what his/her strengths are.  Anyone who makes the right business decisions generally has strengths that affect that outcome.  You may be lucky in some things that lead to success, but don't expect luck to be the factor that pulls you through consistently.

As much as we hate it, weaknesses have a great deal to do with success and happiness, too.  The individual who can balance their strengths and weaknesses has a better outlook on everything in life.

Course Grades and Aptitude Tests for College Bound Students

School counselors attempt to identify what students have the best aptitude for based on how they perform in their studies and on certain aptitude and personality tests.  Parents may have a good idea about this, also, based on the scores their children make in some courses, but some factors may exist that bear on why scores are what they are.

Analyzing Strengths and Weaknesses

Some reasons that black and white numbers can be misleading are:

* Some instructors are tougher than others are.  If the overall scores for a course show a large majority of the students don't perform well, it might be unfair to assume that it is a weak subject for your child.  The opposite can be true if the instructor is too easy on students.

* A teacher might not like your child personally and not grade him or her fairly.  This doesn't happen nearly as many times as students claim it does, but there are some instances when this occurs.

* Your teen might have personal issues that bear on performance.  This is a very common problem, especially when dating interests become important. Another reason, though it might sound silly, is that your child doesn't want to appear too smart or geeky.

* The course isn't challenging enough.  A student who isn't interested has a hard time doing well in any class.

It is much better to get more than one opinion on what strengths and weaknesses your child has.  When planning for college, you should research what the results of ACT or SAT scores indicate. High school transcripts are also important to evaluate if your student's GPA will meet college admissions requirements.  College entrance exams may be another source when applicable.

One element that can't be quantified or measured with a grading system is the desire your child has to accomplish goals.  You may find that he or she wants to enter a profession strongly enough to work twice as hard at some studies that aren't on their strengths side of the equation.

Communication is key between you and your child to help them make the best choices possible based on the known information and their specific goals and interests for the best college experience.

Best Friends - After Graduation Life Changes

How important are the relationships your child has with classmates when the senior year ends?  Your teenager may have had friendships with some other students for two-thirds of his or her life.  At eighteen, that probably seems like forever, and when school is over it is often assumed those friendships will continue.

People Go Different Ways

You as the parent already realize what your teen will find out after graduation.  The majority of the people who graduate from high school together seldom see each other socially afterwards.  The ones who aren't close enough to your child to stay connected are less to be concerned with than the ones who are, and the reason is they may influence your son's or daughter's direction in their pursuit of a higher education.

Picture a single event that occurs in life and changes everything.  For an adult, this might be the loss of a job, a divorce, parenthood, or a career change that requires relocation. These are only a few of many different possible lifestyle changes.

For your teenager, that change might be graduation or the senior trip.  A young person thinking about how the old gang will be disbanded might want to discover a way to prevent it from happening entirely if the realization comes early enough.

Much of this comes from fear of the changes that come after high school and typically mark the huge step from high school into "the real world." By keeping something familiar close, it's easy to assume the changes will be easier.

Making the Right Moves

Choosing a course of study is so vitally important because of its impact on the majority of a person's future.  You don't want your child to go to college for a major in something that is not a good match for them, but there is a possibility of that happening when high school friends band together to take similar studies at the same university for no other reason than to stay together.

For this reason, it is important to start early in the high school years to explore what your children are really interested in doing with their lives.  You don't want to wait until spring of the senior year and have them decide to take a course just because their best friend is taking it.  This can lead to disappointment, and often result in poor accomplishments in their studies.

Keep Friendships Outside of College

While the term "best friends forever" may be important, career directions aren't realistically a part of that philosophy.  If two young people are best friends, they will find a way to keep in touch. They don't have to attend college together to remain friends. They certainly don't need to have the same careers unless it just fortuitously works out that way.

If school chums can attend the same university and receive the best instruction in differing educational fields, then that is great, if it is what both students want.  The problem surfaces when one would fare better studying at another college more suited to their career objectives, but they let the friendship be the deciding factor.

Parents have to make sure that their children choose what's best for them, not what is best for their best friends.  Take the time to research and direct, so you can guide your children in making the best choices for their own higher education.

College is Educational for the Parents, Too

Every parent starts asking themselves questions when their college bound high school student looms closer and closer to graduation day. Is he/she going to be dedicated enough in college to study hard and make the right grades? Is he/she ready to live away from home? Have we chosen the right school?

One of the most commonly asked questions is "Will we be able to afford all the expense associated with a college education?" It is very easy to become so concerned with the expense issue that many parents tend to forget they have a living and breathing individual heading into the world for the first time, many times feeling alone, scared, and afraid of failure.

Armed with Values

If you are like most parents of teens graduating from high school, you have attempted to instill a sense of duty and responsibility into your child.  You've probably given speeches about how class studies are more important than love interests and extra curricular activities.  If you didn't do this before the senior year of high school, you may have waited too late to make a real impact.

If we expect our children to grow into sensible, respectable, dependable, and trustworthy adults, we have to mold those attributes from an early age. If we want our child to behave like a mature adult, we have to give them some chances to become one before they ever leave home.

What the future high school graduate needs from the parents is some trust and understanding.  As parents often face a financial hardship when teens go to college, the college students are facing some difficulties, too.  Adjusting to life away from everything familiar is tough for anyone, and how a parent supports a child during that process has a great deal to do with the student's success or failure.

Know When to Criticize

A parent has to be balanced between pushing for good grades and consoling their student when grades aren't achieved as desired.  The fact is most freshmen college students have lower scores than they had in high school at the outset.  This doesn't mean expectations of high marks are impossible, but it is realistic to assume that early scores won't be the best.

A teen may lose respect for a condescending parent who is highly critical of their early efforts at college class work.  Reactions can cause a void much wider than the distance between home and college. All of us undergo an adjustment period when we experience significant lifestyle changes, and embarking into college life is no exception.

Don't Be a Mother Hen

Being overly protective and hovering around campus too much is another fault of some parents.  Your student may be a little apprehensive and uncertain when they first go away, but they do not want to be viewed as fragile by their peers; would you?  If you as a parent are asked to come and visit, that is one thing; but inviting yourself, especially if often, gives the impression that you believe your young adult is still a child.

Many teenagers go to college and do little more than attend parties and goof off.  They do not last long in the pursuit of a college education because their goals and objectives are unfocused.  A student who is trying and putting forth effort deserves the benefit of the doubt as they settle in and figure out what adjustments they need to make to improve grades and achieve their goals. As hard as it may be at times, parents must be patient, understanding, and motivational.

College Degree Planning for Your High School Senior

All parents hope their high school students will transition easily into college, knowing exactly what they want to study, and without the chance of a change in their major mid way through school.

An important part of the preparation process for college is taking the necessary time to explore different areas of study and what is required to achieve a degree. There are Bachelor of Arts Degrees, Bachelor of Science Degrees, Associate Degrees, and even licenses and certifications for careers that require specific training but not necessarily a "degree."

A case in point applies to the field of nursing. A student seeking an RN degree can attend either a 2 or 4 year institution. The 2 year school offers the Associate Degree in nursing, while the 4 year school offers the Bachelor of Science in Nursing.

Registered nurses with either degree typically make the same salaries as registered nurses. So why, you might ask, spend the time and money toward a Bachelor of Science Degree when you can earn the same amount of money with the Associate Degree?

Here are some things to consider regarding the Associate versus the Bachelor of Science degree in this particular situation:

1. Which degree to choose depends on whether or not the graduate plans to continue their education after the initial degree is obtained. For example, if an RN with an Associate Degree plans to advance their degree in order to become a nurse practitioner, they would have to first advance the ASN into a BSN, and then move forward from there. In this scenario, it might be a better choice to go ahead and work toward the BS degree at the outset.

2. Some job positions specifically state a Bachelor of Science degree as an application requirement. Employers know the difference in the two degrees, and if a decision comes down to two candidates for the same position, most times the one with the more advanced degree is going to be the choice selection.

The specifics for different professions and areas of study will vary, but the main concept is to give some forethought and planning to a desired career and the degree choices so the best decisions can be made for the long term.

Every parent wants the best value results for the amount of the investment made into their child's college education. In order to achieve this, it is essential to do some research and also spend time discussing the future with their college bound senior long before the college years begin.

College Bound High School Students and Part Time Jobs

Some parents think it is best if their student does not attempt to work a part time job in high school, but instead concentrate on their academic studies and possibly some extracurricular activities such as sports and clubs.

There are other parents who think a part time job is a great idea for their high school student because it teaches a work ethic and builds character. It is also a great opportunity to introduce the student to earning and managing their own money.

Here are a few things to consider as far as a part time job during the high school years:

1. When evaluating high school students for college acceptance, schools look at many different aspects of a student's achievements. While academics are an important part of these achievements, they do not solely comprise everything being considered for college acceptance.

Colleges seek well rounded individuals for entrance to their program, which is why participating in sports and clubs is important throughout the high school years. A part time job is no different. Schools view a student's ability to achieve academically while taking on additional responsibility via a part time job as a very positive attribute.

2. A part time job is an excellent way to begin molding a high school student's work ethic. Careful scheduling and planning, choosing the right part time job, and staying focused on academic studies are essential for this plan to work. It does, however, indicate many positive elements regarding a high school student's personality to possess the ability to hold down a part time job and still maintain their studies.

3. A part time job can serve as an opportunity for obtaining college funds. Many businesses offer scholarships and financial assistance to high school students who work within their companies.

4. When students apply for jobs after college graduation, potential employers are less hesitant to hire candidates with some work experience as opposed to those with none. It reflects a student's commitment to responsibility in their early years and the ability of the student to multi-task.

5. Many high schools offer co-op programs for students, allowing them to utilize part of the class day for employment, which also applies toward their high school graduation credits and GPA.

A co-op instructor checks in with the employer throughout the semester to evaluate the student's performance. Positive reports result in good grades in the "co-op" course, which reflects favorably on the student's transcript.

A part time job is not recommended for every high school student. If, for instance, a student is already struggling in their academic studies, the time might be better spent on extra study time and possibly even tutoring. The decision regarding whether a part time job is a good fit for your particular student is dependent on many things and each case must be evaluated individually.

The Importance of Middle School

Many parents view middle school as the time just before a student enters the serious part of his or her education.  This is poor vision of what should actually be taking place at that time.

It may seem that your middle school student is not academically ready for some of the courses of study before the ninth grade, but the truth is, the harder ones are what prepare the student to be able to perform better on their high school transcript.

Think of it this way; everything in life that a person goes through from birth to advancing years prepares them for the next step.  Just as high school prepares students for college, middle school prepares them for high school.  Taking class study lightly is never conducive for a student to become an achiever.

Everything Counts After 8th Grade

When those grades begin to hit the transcript record in the ninth grade, they should be challenging courses in which the student has high scores.  The better the scholastic standards, the more financial aid possibilities will be available and more of the better colleges will be interested in the student's attendance.

College acceptance is a competition because the best colleges limit the enrollment to keep the educational process working to its best efficiency.  Because the colleges are high in demand, they only accept students with the highest grades in challenging subjects.  Committees that choose students for grants or scholarships look for these same achievements before making offers.

A Parent's Responsibility

In light of this factual data, you as the parent should strongly encourage your future college student to prepare very well during the seventh and eighth grades.  Even if some harder classes don't present the grades you and your student hope for, they do prepare them for harder courses in the next arena, which will shed a brighter light on the college bound youth.

What Middle School Should Do for a Student

Two very important formative parts of middle school can make the difference in the ninth grade.

* First, if courses are hard enough that grades need improving, it teaches better study habits as well as how and where to get assistance for problematic studies.  It also teaches tenacity to achieve desired results.

* Secondly, it teaches organizational skills that will make the student better at anything he or she does in high school, college, and in life.

If your child is taking off the two years before the ninth grade by electing easier classes, it is a mistake that will cause less achievement at the next level, and possibly limit college opportunities.