Signs Your Child is Academically Burnt Out

Studying, extracurricular activities, after school programs--is there a chance that your child may be academically burnt out? How can you tell? 

Causes of Academic Burnout
Many high schools put a huge workload on students and expect everyone to be an overachiever. There is often a competitive environment, and many teachers look down on students that simply do an adequate job. The combination of unending work and constant pressure eventually takes its toll on the psyches of some students. According to the Washington Post, a recent study by the Academy of Finland found that burnout seems to run in families. Students with burnout often have parents with similar feelings about their work, life, or financial situation. The reasons for this connection are unclear, but Scientists have theorized that it could be related to parenting techniques.

Signs of Burnout
Burnout is a gradual process that occurs over an extended period of time. It doesn’t happen overnight, but it can creep up on you or your child if you’re not paying attention to the warning signals. The signs and symptoms of burnout are subtle at first, but they get worse and worse as time goes on.

• Feeling tired and drained most of the time
• Lowered immunity, feeling sick a lot
• Frequent headaches, back pain, muscle aches
• Change in appetite or sleep habits
• Emotional signs and symptoms of burnout
• Sense of failure and self-doubt
• Feeling helpless, trapped, and defeated
• Detachment, feeling alone in the world
• Loss of motivation
• Increasingly cynical and negative outlook
• Decreased satisfaction and sense of accomplishment
• Withdrawing from responsibilities
• Isolating yourself from others
• Procrastinating, taking longer to get things done
• Taking out your frustrations on others
• Skipping work, school or activities or arriving late and leaving early

Avoiding Burnout
According to the experts, it's possible for students to avoid burnout by taking more breaks, spending more time on their social lives, and taking better care of their health so that they feel better. Think of the early symptoms of burnout as warning signs or red flags that something is wrong that needs to be addressed. If you pay attention to these early warning signs, you can prevent a major breakdown. If you ignore them, it may eventually lead to burn out.

Pressure Vs Support – a Guide for Parents of High School Students

For teens in the race to try to get into the colleges of their choice, the decision can be tormenting, and the process exhausting.  There’s always one more Advanced Placement course to squeeze in, one additional activity or one more sport to add to the list. As the pressure on high school students is pushed further and further, parents find themselves questioning how to provide support without causing pressure to succeed.

Every parent wants to figure out the balancing act between pushing students hard enough to succeed, but not so hard that they crack. Some students can easily handle multiple advanced classes and activities and athletics. But others cannot — and should not feel the pressure to do so at any cost, especially from their parents. While most colleges look for students who have succeeded in rigorous academic programs, they aren’t looking for a long list of them. Know what your teen is capable of and support them in doing the best they can at what they can.

Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff
Parents need not freak out all of the time about every little thing, and should save the freak-outs for the big stuff. One of the biggest stresses for students is the constant attention that parents pay to grades. For example, don’t freak out over one bad grade on a single test or project in a course, but instead give your teen the chance and encouragement to work their way back to a better overall grade in the course. The backdrops to the academic pressures are the social pressures students feel to fit in and to be considered “cool” and accepted. Sometimes social pressure can even be more intense than the academic pressure, and it sometimes comes more from parents than peers. Social pressure is one of the main causes for students to drink or try drugs to fit into a popular crowd and socially popular groups. It is also common for teens to abuse drugs and alcohol to withstand the pressure of their schedules and the expectations they face from parents. The best thing for parents to do is to not pressure teens to “be like” or “fit in with” certain groups or kids--let your kids choose their own friends and as long as they are not reckless or dangerous youth, trust their decisions.

Take time, step back
Teaching teens to live a balanced lifestyle will better prepare them for college and life than a hectic lifestyle packed beyond their capabilities. Both parents and students need to take time to evaluate their schedules and to choose coursework and activities that are meaningful and challenging — but not burdensome. Parents need to be in tune with their kids and they need to learn how to push, but not too much. And, more importantly, parents need to learn to let their children fail. There is no need to nag your teen about things they know that they need to do, like college applications and school projects. If it means that they have to stay up most of the night to meet a deadline, let them learn from it for themselves that the next morning isn’t going to be too much fun!

The Parent's Checklist for the College Move

After all the necessary arrangements have been made, the day is fast approaching for the college freshman to move away, and while everything that's moving out with them has been established, there are other last minute things still yet to do. A final checklist of items that need addressing should include the following.

Establish Health Insurance

After your child completes high school, your family plan might change. Make certain that insurance doesn't lapse. It may be better to get health coverage through the college or university.

Contents Insurance Coverage

Your homeowner's policy might cover the student's content in the dorm room, but that should not be automatically assumed. If at some point your child moves off campus, renter's insurance is an important consideration. Electronics and other contents of value can disappear quickly in a college environment.

Cell Package - Keeping the Communication Lines Open

Depending on how far away the college is from home, the current calling plan on the cell phone might need updating for the new student. If changes are made to the plan personally at a local carrier, the student should visit the service representative to hear about how the plan works before leaving home.

If a plan can be established for a reasonable amount, it is much better to have unlimited talk minutes and texting to avoid overruns. The student should know how to check available minutes if the plan is limited.

Automobile Insurance

Your auto policy might make provisions for the use of the car while the student is attending school, especially if they will not be driving while on campus. If it is possible to get prorated or part time insurance because your child won't be a full time driver, it can result in substantial savings.

Credit Cards

With great power comes a great deal of foolish charges for the student who doesn't understand the importance of restraint. Every parent who gives a child a credit card has to make it perfectly clear what it can and can't be used for, along with how much can be charged on a monthly basis.

Fill Out a Health Care Proxy

You may be able to get a form online or from your doctor to have in case something happens to your child medically. You will need something like this before doctors or health care providers will speak to you about your child who is over 18 years old. Many times the school will make arrangements for this document.

Keep Records of Everything

Take everything in the student's wallet and make copies so that replacements can be made should anything become lost. Credit and debit card numbers need to be on file for cancellation quickly should it be necessary.

Lines of Communication with the New College Student

When all the preparations have been completed, moving has been accomplished, and the child has left for their first year of higher education, it soon settles in that your son or daughter won't be at the table each night and won't have to be called to get up in the morning. The fact is that nothing about the relationship with them will ever be the same again.

The hardest part of the initial separation between parent and college student is establishing lines of communication. For every parent-child relationship the conditions are different, but it is always important to have a feel for balancing contact from the parents' side. This avoids the brand of the "helicopter parent" and establishes a healthy relationship with the child.

Know Who's in Charge

A wise parent will be concerned with establishing communication with other people who will be instrumental in the further education of their child. Information regarding who these people are is often a part of the information received from the college. However, it is always good to confer with an advisor to come up with a contact list for emergencies or when the student is unexpectedly unavailable.

An important thing to remember is to only find out the ground rules, not continually call the contacts. Once you have a reasonable idea of what calls to make, don't persist unless it is absolutely necessary.

Who Calls First?

It is also a good rule to allow the student to make the first call after leaving for college to show trust and give him or her time to settle into new surroundings. It can be hard waiting by the phone and very tempting to break the rule if the student seems remiss in calling. If the student has instructions to call by a certain time, a parent should make a call if that does not occur.

How a parent reacts to the comments of the child away at school has much to do with keeping the line of trust secure. The parent who constantly attempts to direct a child is usually the one that drives the student further away than just the physical miles. Making scattered suggestions instead of continual demands maintains a healthier relationship.

Finally, having routine times to call and visit on the phone is a good way to keep the family connection, but even that should not be so structured that the parent seems like the warden. Allowing the student to take the lead in instigating conversation shows confidence in their decision-making abilities.

Building the College Student

A family should function as a unit, but sadly, many only exist as individuals with entirely different lives, living under one roof. Parents are expected to raise children to be responsible adults, not to pamper or cuddle them without furnishing any direction.

The real determining factor of a prepared college student revolves around control and freedom.

How well your child performs and adjusts to campus life has much to do with their life and upbringing in the years prior to that time, and it is essential to start early when preparing a youngster to grow into a responsible and successful adult.

Begin Teaching at a Young Age

From an early age, children should be taught that life is made up of times of both responsibility and fun. The understanding of the balance should begin no later than when a child begins to attend kindergarten. The biggest mistake a parent can make is to believe that because a child is small, they are not old enough to begin to learn responsibility.

Despite what some parents might believe, children who are directed to do chores and have regular activities to attribute to the family unit are much better adjusted and more prepared to meet the responsibilities and challenges they will encounter throughout life. It is also impossible for an individual to appreciate play time if they have never had any exposure to work time.

A Balanced Individual Makes a Better College Student

Children who learn the facts about work early give the least problems later, and they also typically work harder in school. When a child has the proper work/play balance in place, life as a parent becomes less stressful, and more time can be devoted to finding the best opportunities for the child.

Preparing a teen for college begins at the start of the structured education program, not in their junior or senior year of high school. Here are some tips about how better to create a responsible college student starting in the young years.

1. When teaching a child responsibility, begin with tasks that are easy but necessary. Brushing teeth, combing hair, dressing, and other simple tasks are the beginning of larger and more complicated tasks to come.

2. Always suit the chores and responsibilities to the age of the child. A job too complicated for the individual will result in a sense of failure and a negative attitude regarding the assignment of future tasks.

3. Praise them for a job well done, but constructively correct them regarding any inadequacies. A job that offers no reward even when done well can be a disappointment to a youngster, and reward does not necessarily have to be monetary.

4. Relate work at school with work at home to indicate that they are both important to the betterment of the child.

5. Make sure there is enough time for recreation and give as much freedom in that capacity as is reasonable in conjunction with other responsibilities such as homework and studying.

Picture a child even at the younger ages as an intelligent human being who has reasoning and the ability to make decisions. Remember that learning comes incrementally and requires loosening of the reins throughout the formative years.

When that young person is ready to leave home for college, it matters not that you still see the small child, as long as you have created the responsible adult prepared for the challenges and tasks that come with campus life.

Resisting the Temptation to Be a Helicopter Parent

There are some phrases coined for certain parent personality types at colleges and universities throughout the country. One common token term is the "helicopter parent."

The Helicopter Parent - The Persistent Hoverer

A helicopter parent is one who hovers closely over their child's activities whether their child needs them or not. While their intentions are good, this interference can actually impede the progress of their child in school and other endeavors.

Attending college is an entry into adulthood, and this is a time when students need to start making most of their decisions themselves. Sometimes they will make the wrong decisions, but failing teaches success and is a necessary part of the life experience.

This is not to say taking an active interest in your child's education is a bad thing. Actually, research has shown that students whose parents take an active role in their child's education are better performing students.

So when does enough involvement become too much?

A common indication of helicopter style parenting includes statements such as, "We are planning to major in English," meaning both you and your student. Other examples include contacting your child's professor about their progress or communicating directly with their academic advisor without your child knowing about it.

A Perfect Balance

Finding the perfect balance between taking an active interest in your child's education and hovering too intently over them can be a challenge, but it is essential to understand the difference if you want your child to have the best chance of success.

While this may be hard to believe, some parents continue this hovering activity even after college graduation, going so far as to interfere in their child's professional life. Human resources departments at many businesses have become all too familiar with this behavior in recent years, even so far as parents attempting to negotiate their child's salary.

The important element to keep in mind is that if your involvement level is such that you are making the decisions rather than the student, you may be hovering. In order to mature, your child has to deal with life circumstances that land in their path. Removing the obstacles for them is not helping them; it is preventing their development into capable and mature adults.

Keeping an active interest in your child's education and life in general is an admirable parenting trait. Just keep things in perspective and remember that sheltering your young adult from life's circumstances is not helping them learn to survive.

Your student's college years are a time for them to come into their own and learn to make decisions and work through problems themselves, although they will most always seek your valuable advice occasionally and when they do, feel free to give it to them.

College Bound Students - Remaining True to the Challenge

When your child leaves for college, it can be one of the saddest moments you as a parent ever experience.  For your child, it can be traumatic to anticipate an entirely different lifestyle change.  And while you may be sad after your child departs for school, your student will begin their college education as they cross over the threshold into adulthood. This is a very big step for them.

Sadly, many young adults forget much of what they are taught at home when they enter college.  They view themselves as grown and in charge of their lives.  Some teens head to college with partying on their minds which seriously interferes with their studies. In the process, they often influence others to follow suit and often with much success.

The first six weeks of college are considered a challenge for young people who've never attended school away from home.  They will be enticed to drink, party, and stay out late, and while none of this may sound like activities your child would participate in, it is sometimes a temptation that can be difficult to resist.

One statistic that sticks out above all the others is the number of students who make it to the second year of college.  Only two-thirds of the kids who start college get that far.  As you might guess, more drop offs occur each year after, but the first year is the most crucial and takes the largest toll on the college population.

What can you do to keep your child from becoming one of those drops outs?
If you do your homework, you should know something of the eyes and ears of the college your child is attending.  You want to have support from the organizations and people who can make a difference.
Keeping a quality line of communication open with your student is also helpful. It is essential to keep in mind that you simply cannot treat them the same way you did when they were in high school. By respecting their age and maturity, they will be much more open to communication than if you continue to treat them like a child.

Parents have a responsibility to their children even if that path is a difficult one.  Parental support is very important in the early years of college. The motivation you provide might be just what they need to remain focused and complete their educational goals.

Parent’s Guide for the College Transition

Congratulations! Your son or daughter has been accepted to a great school and is off to college this Fall. You’re proud and happy for them… but you’re probably a bit anxious as well, and you may suddenly feel left behind.

Going to college is an important transition point in the relationships of parents and students, especially when that college is out of the city or out of the state. Suddenly, parents are no longer the primary caregivers for their children – the child is!

How can you make the transition easier?

Start The Summer Before
Make a conscious effort to allow your child to be self-sufficient. This may include several things – having your child do his/her own laundry for the first time, relaxing curfew rules, or giving your child money for school supplies and letting him/her do the shopping themselves.

Along with this comes a conscious shift of thinking of your child as an adult. Ask their opinion on matters that you haven’t before, such as conflicts at work you’re experiencing or where you should go for family vacation at Christmas. Refrain from nagging them about being out late, or spending too much money with friends. These are things you’ll have no control over when they go to college, and it’s better that you and they should be comfortable with this earlier instead of later.

Develop Non-Family Interests
It’s common for parents to become depressed when their children go to college. They may feel the “empty nest” syndrome, especially when they’ve been child-focused during the high school years.

To battle this feeling, take up new hobbies and activities that aren’t family related, spend more time with your spouse without discussing your children, and expand your circle of friends to people who don’t have children the same age. This support network and variety of interests will keep you from calling your college student every night out of loneliness, and making them feel that you may not trust them.

Look Back on Your Child’s Successes
If the anxiety of your child going away to college alone has you overwhelmed, take a moment to review all the great things he or she has done over the years. It may help to pull out family albums, look at his/her awards, or talk to other family members in a bragging session.

Once you recall all the times he or she has worked hard, studied well, accomplished something difficult, or won an accolade, it’s easier to remember that you’ve raised a great kid who you can trust is going to continue to make the right decisions and succeed in college.

College is Educational for the Parents, Too

Every parent starts asking themselves questions when their college bound high school student looms closer and closer to graduation day. Is he/she going to be dedicated enough in college to study hard and make the right grades? Is he/she ready to live away from home? Have we chosen the right school?

One of the most commonly asked questions is "Will we be able to afford all the expense associated with a college education?" It is very easy to become so concerned with the expense issue that many parents tend to forget they have a living and breathing individual heading into the world for the first time, many times feeling alone, scared, and afraid of failure.

Armed with Values

If you are like most parents of teens graduating from high school, you have attempted to instill a sense of duty and responsibility into your child.  You've probably given speeches about how class studies are more important than love interests and extra curricular activities.  If you didn't do this before the senior year of high school, you may have waited too late to make a real impact.

If we expect our children to grow into sensible, respectable, dependable, and trustworthy adults, we have to mold those attributes from an early age. If we want our child to behave like a mature adult, we have to give them some chances to become one before they ever leave home.

What the future high school graduate needs from the parents is some trust and understanding.  As parents often face a financial hardship when teens go to college, the college students are facing some difficulties, too.  Adjusting to life away from everything familiar is tough for anyone, and how a parent supports a child during that process has a great deal to do with the student's success or failure.

Know When to Criticize

A parent has to be balanced between pushing for good grades and consoling their student when grades aren't achieved as desired.  The fact is most freshmen college students have lower scores than they had in high school at the outset.  This doesn't mean expectations of high marks are impossible, but it is realistic to assume that early scores won't be the best.

A teen may lose respect for a condescending parent who is highly critical of their early efforts at college class work.  Reactions can cause a void much wider than the distance between home and college. All of us undergo an adjustment period when we experience significant lifestyle changes, and embarking into college life is no exception.

Don't Be a Mother Hen

Being overly protective and hovering around campus too much is another fault of some parents.  Your student may be a little apprehensive and uncertain when they first go away, but they do not want to be viewed as fragile by their peers; would you?  If you as a parent are asked to come and visit, that is one thing; but inviting yourself, especially if often, gives the impression that you believe your young adult is still a child.

Many teenagers go to college and do little more than attend parties and goof off.  They do not last long in the pursuit of a college education because their goals and objectives are unfocused.  A student who is trying and putting forth effort deserves the benefit of the doubt as they settle in and figure out what adjustments they need to make to improve grades and achieve their goals. As hard as it may be at times, parents must be patient, understanding, and motivational.

The Importance of Middle School

Many parents view middle school as the time just before a student enters the serious part of his or her education.  This is poor vision of what should actually be taking place at that time.

It may seem that your middle school student is not academically ready for some of the courses of study before the ninth grade, but the truth is, the harder ones are what prepare the student to be able to perform better on their high school transcript.

Think of it this way; everything in life that a person goes through from birth to advancing years prepares them for the next step.  Just as high school prepares students for college, middle school prepares them for high school.  Taking class study lightly is never conducive for a student to become an achiever.

Everything Counts After 8th Grade

When those grades begin to hit the transcript record in the ninth grade, they should be challenging courses in which the student has high scores.  The better the scholastic standards, the more financial aid possibilities will be available and more of the better colleges will be interested in the student's attendance.

College acceptance is a competition because the best colleges limit the enrollment to keep the educational process working to its best efficiency.  Because the colleges are high in demand, they only accept students with the highest grades in challenging subjects.  Committees that choose students for grants or scholarships look for these same achievements before making offers.

A Parent's Responsibility

In light of this factual data, you as the parent should strongly encourage your future college student to prepare very well during the seventh and eighth grades.  Even if some harder classes don't present the grades you and your student hope for, they do prepare them for harder courses in the next arena, which will shed a brighter light on the college bound youth.

What Middle School Should Do for a Student

Two very important formative parts of middle school can make the difference in the ninth grade.

* First, if courses are hard enough that grades need improving, it teaches better study habits as well as how and where to get assistance for problematic studies.  It also teaches tenacity to achieve desired results.

* Secondly, it teaches organizational skills that will make the student better at anything he or she does in high school, college, and in life.

If your child is taking off the two years before the ninth grade by electing easier classes, it is a mistake that will cause less achievement at the next level, and possibly limit college opportunities.

Five Tips for Parenting The College-Bound Child

Raising a child is the most challenging thing most people will ever do, and sending them away to college is one of the toughest parts.  Helping your teenager choose the perfect college is a great start – but how can you help them succeed there? Education is your child's first real job, and college might actually be the hardest job they'll ever do. You can't go with them and can't do their work for them, but send them as well prepared as possible with these five tips.

First, prepare your child for a big step up in academic expectations.  For the vast majority of students, college is a tremendous increase in academic difficulty.  They can expect work to get harder and grades to get lower.  If your child doesn't expect this they might become discouraged. 

Second, prepare your child for self management.  In high school, it is the school's job to see to it the student passes.  In college, it's the student's job to satisfy the college that they should be allowed to pass.  Your child has to manage their own relationships with their instructors, their own administrative matter, and their own studying.  Get them to manage these things in high school, especially in their senior year.   Your child will be treated as an adult by their college, so they should get some practice as soon as possible. 

Third, help your child learn the school beforehand.  Orientations, campus tours, literature, and talking to former students is invaluable for preparing to move away and profoundly change their lives.  Even a moderately large school has the area and population of a small city and the bureaucracy can be just as hard to navigate. The more your child knows before college starts, the less shock they will experience. 

Fourth, help your child budget.  If your child is on their own for the first time the temptation to blow through their spending money can be overwhelming.  Get the numbers down on paper and show them what they have and how it can be stretched out all year.  The last thing a young student needs come exam time is to panic over a money shortage.

Fifth, don't overemphasize post-college plans.  It's good to think about careers, but as the old sports saying goes, you have to play them one game at a time.  Your child might change their mind, change majors, or adjust any number of things, but the critically important thing is to graduate from college first. 

Your child is about to embark upon a journey of four or more years.  You can’t lead them but you can at least start them off with a map and a compass!